Tonight Sam and I are meeting with the biological grandmother of our three oldest kids for the first time since the kids have been in our family. Our adoption is closed and November of 2011 is the last time that our three kids saw their biological family (they were 3, 6 & 7 at the time.) This is the first big step to walking out what we hope is reconnecting a relationship of some kind between our kids and their biological family.
We have met their grandmother a couple of times before when the kids were in foster care. We also had interaction with their biological mother various times over that same time period when we were helping care for the kids at Joel & Beth’s house. At the time we had no idea that we would be at this point years later caring for the kids in the deepest sense of the word.
Caring for them like our very own daughter and sons…caring for them because they are now our daughter and sons…caring for them so much that we can’t remember what it was like to not have them as our daughter and sons. It is true what they say that love grows in your heart even if not all of your kids grow in your tummy.
we were navigating through introducing our oldest three to
all of their new extended family from our sides of the family. Now they had more grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. After a few months our biological daughter (who was 3)
stopped saying, “no, that is MY grandma” and everyone understood that
she is “our” grandma, he is “our” cousin…”all five of ours.”
actually live in the same city as our oldest three’s biological family. The reality was, and will
always be, that our three oldest kids have an enormous amount of people
that love them VERY much. The bottom line is that we want them to know
that. We have no idea what that will look like, but we so desire for
them to know and continue to know the ones that loved them even before we did.
This is going to be a life long process of walking out questions and explaining things to our kids to the best of our ability. Even if we can’t fully communicate to our biological kids why our oldest three have more family than they do. We are really thankful that our oldest three do have so many people that love them.
I don’t want the fact that this is all unknown to me and a bit scary to stop me from something beautiful that could happen. This is when my relationship with God is literally my all…I lean on Him for all. Giving all of my fears, lack of knowledge & inability to answer some hard questions, all into His hands.
Three of our kids have a very special relationship that is longing to reconnect with them and tonight is the first step to seeing that unfold.